| really are |
[09 Feb 2006|07:55pm] |
Am I sad
not sad enough really
am I mad
not mad enough clearly
am I
complacent
completely
lacking in sincerity
yes indeed I am
am I tough
not tough enough really
am I rough
not rough enough nearly
am I lying here
on the ground
watching you get pushed around
yes indeed I am
really
I don't know why
I'm such a wimp
I realize
I'm just your pimp
but what can I do
what can I do
am I small
not small enough really
I feel lame and cirumspect
I feel your pain and yet
I feel sympathy
empathy
it's just that I'm super busy right now
really
I don't know why
I'm such a shit
I realize
this doesn't help a bit
but what can I do
what can I do
am I bad
not bad enough really
I feel angry and upset
I could write you a small check
look I wish you luck
and here's you're buck
it's just that I'm a yuppie fuck
yes indeed I am
really
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[05 Feb 2006|09:04am] |
so in Syria and Lebannon protesters of those muhammad cartoons i've been prateling on about all week started burning the embassies of Dennmark and Norway and probably later this week every other nation that has printed the infamous cartoons.
I think those cartoons are a huge mistake but I'm not down for violence. I think all those european coutnries should keep up with their protest and start pelting islamic embassies with pork chops. tit for tat.
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| all i need is a laugh |
[28 Jan 2006|11:38am] |
the other day i'm walking down state street from the bank and there is a pretty girl in front of me. had a really cute ass.
we come to a stop light together and these other two guys stop by us.
one says to the girl
"you have a really great walk, like a model's walk"
I really hate witnessing douch chill moments like that. when a dude is about to get shot down for saying something ridiculously dumb. but this one enacted one of those smartass great moments i was apt to more often
"yea i was looking at your ass too but couldnt think of anything clever to say."
then she laughed and walked on the other side of the street.
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| PEACE I'M OUT!!!!! |
[26 Jan 2006|08:45pm] |
Sharon's Neurotransmitters Reach Cease-Fire Agreement
January 25, 2006 | Issue 42•04
JERUSALEM—After more than 77 years under constant fire, the neurotransmitters of Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's brain could be nearing a truce. "These endless, often senseless patterns of never-ending discharge must come to an end," a spokesman for Sharon's neurostructure told reporters. "Activity has already slowed considerably since the violent blood-clot explosion in his brain earlier this month. We expect a total cessation of cranial nerve firings within two weeks." Observers are unsure whether the cease-fire will bring peace to Sharon's war-torn cranial region, but they remain guardedly optimistic.
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| and then there was the cat |
[18 Jan 2006|08:30pm] |
So last night when I pull up to my apartment there is a little white cat in the front. I walk by, pet it as I'm apt to do with all animals, and the thing fucking follows me to my apartment door. no kitty, you don't live here. go away. poor cat didn't have a home or was lost or something. It was dirty and didn't look like it had eaten in awhile. which sucks. but I can't have pets in here. my landlord only looks for things you do wrong. that's the only thing that fucking kidhole is good for... anyway...
so later in the even becca sees the cat and pets it and it makes her a little sad. Later I go out to get some pot and leave becca here alone. As i get into the car to go I think...she better not let that cat in.
so I open the door when I get home and the cat is sitting on my couch and Becca is petting it. goddammit. So the cat spent the night here. it did okay. It was kinda sad because it was obviously a house cat that had been outside for too long. It was very hungry. we got it some dry food at night and he didn't eat any of it. then in the morning i remembered i had some gross chicken of the sea tuna and the little fucker ate that thing lickity quick and went right back to sleep.
so today Becca had off from work and it became her priority to find a sucker. And i found that sucker this morning. Jess took the cat. I love Jess. cause that made my girlfriend very happy so she knows it won't be put down...or doesnt have to think about it anymore. yea i think that makes more sense. Jess will probably put it down tomorrow or something but Becca won't think she can do it. but i bet she did. anyway...its not my problem anymore.
anything else goin down....
i want another fucking vacation. I'd like to go to Seattle/Vancovuer area. There or Florida. Somewhere nice. and yea. lots of other stuff.
oh yea.
I've started a little exercise to write. About Hector A. Anderson and his battle agaisnt the evil Dr. Sveigal. they are only in small short instalments which are action packed. Snakes, Regicide, mass genocide, and the subduing of Washington DC.
yea i suck
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| look at me. |
[15 Jan 2006|09:44pm] |
here are some pics of me.
cause i fucking rule
so yea. rock on. otherwise not shit going on lately. just a little sleepy.
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| ramble on |
[15 Jan 2006|08:16am] |
you know the Led Zepplin song Ramble On is all about The Lord of the Rings? fucking lame man. i was watching The Return of the King last night and I started playing the song over the movie for the scene when they finally drop the ring in the volcano and such. it synced up pretty cool.
in the darkest dephs of mordor
i met a girl so fair
but golem and the evil one
slip away with her or something
i guess i keep rambling. carry that fucking ring frodo you metrosexual hobbit.
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| Love story - Deltron 3030 |
[25 Dec 2005|07:37am] |
Yo yo yo, check this out man
1 for you, 2 for me
3 for you, 15 for me
20 for you... now check it out
Yo
I just won 10 grand in the Galactic
Rhyme Federation championship, so I'm lampin a bit
I feel like returnin to Earth and burnin some herb
I'm sick of lookin at the inside of space stations
Time for Deltron to take a vacation
My expertise in aviation got us to our destination (where?)
The East Bay
My living quarters is completely froze solid
I thaw it out with a heat ray
Now I'm chillin in a sauna, pulsating jet streams
Peeping out in virtual reality my wet dreams
Perusing my 21st century classic comics, the fun is astronomic
(ha ha ha) I figured since I'm here I'll renew my galactic
passport
So I'm not persecuted by no galactic assholes
Schemers on the ave
With their holographic hat-tricks
Using magnetism to pick-pocket citizens
Tourists walk around with memory apprehension glasses
They attempt to capture
The past tense
Virtual junkies, burnt out and lost
War veterans still trapped in the Holocaust
Yes I know all the answers
Living in my true love's arms
I'm sittin on the porch readin Cosmopolitan
Peepin all these dumb hoes with enhanced collagen
I'm calling in sick today
Big mistake
This resulted in a final pay check and pink slip ?
Replaced by my successor cause I missed my place
Knowin that the Rhyme Federation will miss my face
(f**k y'all)
Referred to as a big disgrace
Now I'm free-lance with more risk to take
Now a rhymin merc, finding certified androids
Hit a convention, signin autographs for fan-boys
They admire
My enhanced stanzas
And how I dodge man-hunts
And security cameras
Avoided apprehension in sub-atomic dimensions
And even more impressive cause of what we livin
A self contained environment, I suggest I'm just a minor threat
I see a thing of beauty fly as heck, standing by her desk
Paid her my respects, I was too scared to try to step
So I deployed one of my androids with dialect
Synthesized with my voice perfectly replicated
Asked for her name, and was she married?
'No we're separated'
*Booty*
Baby... baby you're looking real fine...
Your behind, you got 3 booty cheeks...
That's kind of unique for... for a ?
What say me and you hit the hot spot over at your house ?
I got a few sandwiches ? eaten
Yo it's cool though, you got one eye ? trippin though
Listen you, me and you, we gon' ?, we gon' far, go all the way
to Mars
Venus... we'll go to Venus if you want to
Venus, Paris... ?
Yes I know all the answers
Living in my true love's arms
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| BBC The Life of Birds |
[24 Dec 2005|04:12pm] |
I'm watching this bird documentary i got from netflix and thre is a little story about backyard sparrows. they travel in groups of 3. one female and 2 males. The males compete w/ eachother to have sex with the female. the female willing goes inbetween the two to insure her offspring are fed. there is a habit in this particular species where the male will peck the genitals of the female to get her to eject the sperm of the other male before intercourse.
so taht's really weird. whats even more strange is that they interview the scientist who discovered this behavior and he says something really great
"...i can still remember my intense excitment when i wittnessed a dropplet being extruded for the first time. I imediately dropped to my hands and knees looking for these dropplets and the very first one I found by chance had landed on a small piece of bark and I rushed to the laboratory to look at the dropplet under the microscope and I was absolutely thrilled to discovered that it did indeed contain bundels of sperm."
fuck man get a cyberskin vagina.
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| fucking kill me jesus christ |
[24 Dec 2005|03:26pm] |
i fucking hate these holidays.
first of all my g/f is out of town and i'm fucking dying here.
second i just had to talk to all members of my family to organize when we do our holiday looking at eachother session. and fuck do i feel like putting my hand into a god damn garbage disposal unit already.
fuck man.
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| gay pope? |
[21 Dec 2005|09:42pm] |
gay pope? or just a metrosexual pope? I read he wears prada shoes and likes to wear fancy traditional pope clothes. Is this the eventual culmination of the homosexual scandels in the church? We really are in a time of the world when the extreme sterotypes of the world are in charge of the planets major insitutions.
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| lots of recorded television |
[21 Dec 2005|08:11pm] |
so since my current apartment doesnt have cable.....and I'mn ot going to pay for it. I thank god every day someone near by has wi-fi. So instead of watching cable television I have reverted to watching recorded television on DVDs.
is this worse?
I think subconcisionally i have recreated teh schedule of FOX, FX, and comedy central with my dvd player. I have all the Simpsons, South Park, King of the Hill, The Shield, Reno 911, Arrested Development, Futurama, Battlestar Galatica (fuck you), Curb your Enthusiasm, Saved by the Bell, Ren and Stimpy and 7th Heaven (Becca's [fuck you]) seasons. So mixed up nightly along with my Netflix account....i think I'm just watching television....or some sort of poor man's tivo. At one point i had a huge collection of movies on DVD...but then on day some SLOPPY CUNT broke into my apartment and stole them all so he could BUY HIS AIDS INFESTED FAMILY SIMILAC, and since then i havent had much of a desire to rekindle my anime collection.
so yea. that's what is on my mind tonight. along with THC.
and Podcast fucking rule. especially when i actually have to do work durring the day and I miss my KCRW shit. I started listening to that for the music in the morning but then over time i got totally addicted to the news programs all day because they reported actualy news with objectivity. and now I can't stand the music in the morning. the morning show is called Moring Becomes Eclectic....but time and time again it sounds more like Morning Becomes Emasculated and....
shit this is turing out ot be some kind of old manish rant...
ok...well I'm gonna go make some burritos.
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| hamburgers |
[20 Dec 2005|10:40pm] |
So Becca is in Virginia and I'm hella lonely and bored.
I wish something would happen.
if you lived in louisana, alabama, mississippi, georgia, texas, arkansas, missiouri; what reason do you have to vote for your imcumbant this election year? they really managed that huricane shit. they really managed that operation like a mother fucker.
so anyway.
i'm smoking weed and making hamburgers and listen to a podcast of to the point.
what the hell. why does my life suck s much? it doesnt really.
my sisters b/f is out of town for pretty much the exact same time becca is gone so I spent some time over there tonight getting her high and getting reaquainted with an old friend, television. man i miss that bitch sometimes. but not really all that much.
so it is almost a week before i get to go to Virgina to see Becca. i really can't wait. i miss her like hell.
(about 1 hour later)
those hamburgers turned out great. as well as it could in the george foreman grill. and a beer to go afterward. adn a ceaser salad. damn i'm good. and fed.
so i'm going to finish on that note. dinner is an important part of the day.
ONE kidna cool thing about having your vegatarian girlfriend out of town is feeling less guilty about not stopping eating meat. like tonight i made some smelly ass cow burgers. and when I was at the store I also bought....BACON. fucking Bacon people I havent had that in awhile. I almost got some Jimmy Dean sausages....maybe after i eat the bacon. and the ceasar salad, Becca pointed out the anchovies in the dressing....so, I made some tonight. anchovies i didnt know about. the absence of guilt is pretty cool. although a pepperoni pizza i had the other night made me hella sick. don't eat at Rusty's pizza they put laxitives in that shit or something.
I'm looking into buying a night in DC when I go back. it is just a little bit of a pain since I'm flying into Dulles; about 45 minutes from DC...and then I eventually have to go to Chester VA which is about 2 hours south from DC. my point...no fucking car in VA. But on the other hand...DC was a fucking awesome city and I would like to see how fucking miserable it is in the winter. and there is snow, which is also very foregin to me. The people in VA were dicks, but DC was pretty awesome. i could see myself living there. just after I 2nd amendment my ass up glock glock. VA was actually really fucking pretty when I was there in summer i wouldnt mind living there. except...books are harder to come by.
well...the non burning or burned ones. good night. hell wednesday!
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| lies |
[17 Dec 2005|12:36pm] |
when a president lies under oath about an extramarital affair he is breaking the law.
when a president (or someone acting on orders of the president) listens to your telephone and email conversations without a writ, he is also breaking the law.
so two presidents in a row. Look for Democratic victories in 2006, Bush Impeachment Hearings early 2007.
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| no shit. |
[15 Dec 2005|12:32am] |
well i bought the 7th season of the simpsons on dvd. i just thought i would share that.
i need to start doing more stuff again. I find the answer to the question "what have you been up to" is increasingly and increasingly mundane. it is just work. i guess that should be expected working in retail around the holidays. but blah. the stores up in santa barbara are just a fucking mess. none of the employees do shit. blah blah.
my bday was actually a big nothing. i just spent most of the day and following saturday recovering from the graveyard i worked. and then i got sick.
and thats another thing. this thing is stupid to post in if all i have is sicknesses to report.
Becca is going back home this weekend. she's going to be back in Virginia for almost a month. that is really going to suck. just fucking around in my apartment for 3 weeks. but then I get to go see her over new years eve when I go back to DC. so yay for that. but crap for being alone for a month.
to make up for missing out on sex we tried to mold our own, or my own, dildo tonight. we scammed a make your own dildo kit from one of the stores on the premise of using mine as a display model. So we got to it, Becca mixed the mixture while I worked on the erection. You have to use a lot of lube, so that was really slick.
the make your own dildo kit in the giant tub is a rip off.
first off, it tells you to have an erection all ready to go because you HAVE to stick it in imediatly following 3.5 minutes of mixing. the instructions were very exact on that....
so 3.5 pass, my junk is up and greased, the dildo batter is all in the tube, i go in and shit it feels like cold cold cold ass jello. fuck man it is cold. that's a little fucked up considering you're making a mold of the penis after you make it retract like a scared turtle. once you're in the batter you have to wait around for 60 seconds before you pull out.
so when I pulled out, there was a giant marshmellow plaster de paris covering my junk that proceded to crumble away.
from there it was obvious something went wrong. there was not a clean mold of the penis, unless my penis was stretched out, inflated with oxygen, then malled by a tiger. the marshmellow pealed of with surprising ease....it felt like dough.
but in the end there was nothing resembling a penis left. So round 2 happens tomorrow night. I think warming that bitch up wouldn't be a bad idea....or maybe pulling out after a few minutes....i dunno I just sell dongs i don't usually make them. if anyone has tips on proper do it yourself sex toy please..
so that was suppost to be part of becca's xmas gift. the other part of it she walked in on the other week. I picked out some sweet ass vibrators for her vacation....I had just gotten home from the store and was laying them out to wrap when she got home..."merry xmas, i suck." but whatever I still won out on that deal. remote toys are fun.
so whatese....want some more porn talk?
umm...Squealer was the best porno all year.
Darkside was the best porno feature.
and....
and.....wanna get high?
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| try to stand on my own two legs |
[11 Dec 2005|10:17am] |
your eyes your smile made my little life worth wild
the sky was a bit more blue
when i was on top of you.
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| happy birthday to me 2. |
[09 Dec 2005|07:11am] |
so the president of Iran came up with a clever solution the other day. S
Since the Germans and Austrians killed all those Jews it makes sense that Israel should be moved to Europe instead of being in the Middle East. First of all, last month he was calling for the country to be completely wiped off the face of the planet so this statment represents a major policy change. In only one month he's changed his mind from destroying israel to, "eeh just move it a little." good show.
but i think, and I'm calling this as the OH SHIT storm of 2006; The President of Iran is poking the israelis. Iran will continue to stall with nuclear talks frustrating the USA and EU; and scaring teh fuck out of the israelis. This kill kill kill rhetoric and the mixture of nuclear weapon talk--he is trying to get Israel to launch a pre emptive air strike on nuclear facilities in Iran. this would probably be a good point to run the hell outof the middle east as it will trigger the final skin the infidels type civil war in Iraq mixed in with an Iranian/Turkey invasion of Iraq at the same time. Syria will attack Israel imediately, probably invade Iraq as well and an whole new Palestinian suicide bomber campagin will begin inside Israel. I'd also throw in a lot of shoot outs/beheadings/suicide bombings in Saudi Arabia/Kuwait/U.A.E./Jordon.
so happy birthday. we're fuct. or i'm just stoned tired.
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| happy birthday to me. |
[09 Dec 2005|06:20am] |
happy birthday to me......
fuck yea...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
my birthday started by me.....covering a graveyard shift at the ventura store. fuck. now i'm tired as shit.
happy birthday to me.
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| you guys seriously |
[03 Dec 2005|09:23am] |
I’m sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea
I’ve got to be free, free to face the life that’s ahead of me
On board, I’m the captain, so climb aboard
We’ll search for tomorrow on every shore
And I’ll try, oh lord, I’ll try to carry on
I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy, some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
We live happily forever, so the story goes
But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold
But we’ll try best that we can to carry on
A gathering of angels appeared above my head
They sang to me this song of hope, and this is what they said
They said come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise
They climbed aboard their starship and headed for the skies
Singing come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
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| sold. |
[27 Nov 2005|10:50pm] |
you missed out fuckos.
$500 bucks for some lucky dude in Long Beach. I'm gonna miss my jazzmaster, it is a 30lb weight i'll miss moving again in a few months.
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